Gary Noesner spent more than three decades as a hostage crisis negotiator. Yeah, like real crazy Law & Order type stuff. But it\u2019s what Gary\u2019s good at.<\/p>\n
After a siege went awry in Texas, Noesner took it upon himself to improve the whole program. At the core of this approach was a tool he thinks we all can benefit from and use in our everyday lives. Instead of turning to tactical strategies, he encouraged negotiation.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow is hostage negotiation strategy relevant in my life?\u201d you may ask. Valid question. Here\u2019s how: Gary says active listening is key.<\/p>\n
This means being empathetic and validating another person\u2019s point of view, even if you don\u2019t agree. This simple approach can calm someone down from emotion-based action into that of rational thought. And hey, science is on his side \u2013 MIT says ditto to this. Active listening \u201chelps you gain more information, improve your understanding of other points of view, and work cooperatively with others.\u201d<\/p>\n
A favorite phrase of Gary\u2019s is, \u201cI understand how you feel.\u201d It\u2019s true, we all just wanna be understood.<\/p>\n
Gary interviews at NPR:<\/p>\n